The process over the last few weeks has been maddening. I catch myself crying randomly all over the place as I am feeling vulnerable for the first time in my adult life. Being vulnerable as a child taught me that I was going to be attacked either verbally or physically. I quickly learned to compartmentalize all of my emotions to appear "stronger" than whoever came at me, and even learned how to box when I was being stalked physically. (Hence also why I didn't even bat an eye at pulling the knife on that dude when he broke into my parent's condo. You just "know" how to be prepared.)